The Caloris Crater Mercury Drink Plant at Caloris Crater on Mercury opened in June of 2211. However, the date was June 31st, as was the next day, paradoxically. During those two days, much destruction occurred.

The beginningEdit

The instant everyone was inside the building, having already traveled to the plant by way of Teleportation, the sun jumped across the horizon and began doing the Macarena backwards across the sky in the locality. An infinite thunderstorm then showed up and took on the job of celestial DJ. This was accompanied by spasmodic rain whenever the chorus came up, and lightning pulsing to the bassline.

Structural CollapseEdit

Buildings, after being hit by lightning, began collapsing. However, they did so by collapsing into neat piles of timber, while the source buildings had clearly been made of metal. Machinery inside exploded after being rained on, especially the cheese-purification systems (which is paradoxical in itself).

Decanting DisasterEdit

Normally, decanting of Mercury Drink is done by storing nonpropertyium in Fictionium containers and immersing in mercury, then exposing the Fictionium to proof of its own nonexistence. This allows the nonpropertyium to bind with the mercury and create the drink. However, if the Fictionium does not disappear, the nonpropertyium will undergo paradoxical destruction and cause havoc. This is precisely what happened.

Mathematical failureEdit

The entire computer system of the plant shut down when 2+2 suddenly equaled 2. With that, 0 and 1 suddenly dropped out of the picture and the binary systems were overrun by pulses of every number above 2 inclusive. Sub-meson valves burned out as they tried to display numbers like 124,324,754,321,563,543.9 by overpulsing their on signals.

Internet access locality paradoxEdit

Internet access within the plant, as the paradoxes worsened, began becoming faster and faster. As workers desperately tried to get word out of the disaster occurring, their internet terminals began displaying pages from before the Holo-Network. Unprotected, the terminals were overrun by viruses, adware, spyware, malware, anyware, sumware, everyware and every other ware that could be thought of, including two incidents of warehouses bursting out of terminal screens. These overtaxed the already incapacitated computer system of the plant, which paradoxically sprang back to life for a full five minutes before being overwhelmed by viruses, advertisements and warehouses.

An interesting note: Spyware companies of the past indeed reported seeing an anomalous spy-victim for twenty minutes, and adware operators experienced a spike in advertisement sales at the same time.

The endEdit

A fractal tornado touched down 40 miles west of the plant and paradoxically destroyed the complex from there, without ever moving from its location. The entire underground manufacturing complex was ripped out of the ground so neatly that the empty spaces where they were remained intact, leaving the tourist attractions known as the Caloris Caves today.


June 31 got an extremely bad press after this accident until the Caloris Caves grew massively in popularity. Then June 31 was actively used in attempts to create more tourist attractions. But paradoxically, these didn't work.

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