Bookahol is a very illuminating and mentally stimulating substance that is taken in small doses in almost every school in the Universe of Universe. It comes in two main types which are fiction and nonfiction, both of which have different flavors and added substances. Bookahol comes in two distinct package types, hardback and paperback. The brain can oxidize bookahol as fast as it can be consumed, so a seasoned bookaholic is only limited by the speed at which they can read. Even though bookahol can be consumed again afterwards by rereading, only the best bookahol is just as good the second time around. This means there is always a demand for new bookahol.
Overexposure to fictional bookahol can cause the user to spontaneously extrude Fictionium. When a bookaholic overdoses, fictionium streams from their mouth and is swept up by eager scientists for the production of Fictionite, which is then used in the hulls of spaceships.
The planet Qwerty was a small colony of bookaholics until the planet exploded on them in 1867. When it reformed, there had been such a large deposit of fictionium that when the planet was re-discovered in 2050 it was turned into a mining colony.
Bookahol can be written as BO2K, and is comprised of one Bookium atom, two Oxygen atoms, and one Potassium atom. Editors then ferment it and once combined with a fixative (ink), and a dusting of inspiration, it becomes a potent substance that educates and illuminates.
Bookahol has been known to cause eye strain, tired hands, stubbed toes (if used while walking), car crashes (if used while driving), excessive cognitive ability, inspiration, fatigue, sleep deprivation, and in extreme cases, seemingly incoherent babbling about topics of which no one else has heard.
This bookahol is not actually consumed through reading a book, so it often tastes slightly acidic and burns the palate. The most common kind of synthetic bookahol comes from a variation on the Bookaholicator. The Amazon Kindle is a prime example of this sub-class of bookahol. The true bookaholic will reject these paltry substitutes and prefer to hold the book in their hands while consuming bookahol.
A second kind of synthetic bookahol is IV Bookahol. This kind of bookahol is given to an bookaholic in withdrawal. This can be in the form of a newspaper, magazine, sign, poster, or (in extreme cases) a text on a cell phone. Many people are content to merely sample bookahol through one of these mediums, but a true bookaholic almost never has to resort to IV bookahol for sustenance.
- See main article: 1337
L33t is a form of Bookahol that occurs solely through the internet. It comes in three forms of severity: mild, intermediate and hemorrhaging.
- See main article: Chatspeak
Chatspeak occurs most in chatrooms, and is indeed the driving force behind BRB Energy Extraction. Chatspeak is fairly constant in its grammatical skewing, usually omitting letters to save time and substituting numbers for words - like a minor form of l33t.
- See main article: Texting
A sub-form of chatspeak used in text messaging on phones. Like chatspeak or l33t, but used with economy of characters in mind.
Vintages and FlavorsEdit
Bookahol is found in two main types and each of those have different categories underneath them.
Fictional bookahol tends to be a little bubblier than nonfictional bookahol.
Poetic bookahol can be either light and bubbly, or darker and slightly macabre.
Fantasy bookahol has all sorts of strange flavors not normally found in the Universe of Universe.
Science Fiction bookahol has the flavors that aren't technically possible yet, but since someone has pretended to have invented the machine to produce them, the seasoned bookaholic can discern their subtle flavors.
This type of bookahol is what could have been possible at an earlier time, but we don't know if that type of bookahol had been discovered at that point in time.
It is very hard to discern exactly what type of bookahol is being consumed, until the last drop touches your tongue. Then the flavors come together and the whole experience just makes sense.
The very best bookahol from various golden ages of literature is grouped into the category of classic. These become required reading at schools and are usually the catalysts for essays.
This type of bookahol is grouped by adults and teachers into the genre of NonFiction, but a true bookaholic knows that everything in an essay is made up. No one really knows what the author meant, and it is pointless to debate about what someone dead for two-hundred years may or may not have meant to say through an essay that is no longer relevant. It is equally pointless to write essays in school about what the author may or may not have meant. It is far better to consume as much bookahol of excellent quality as is possible.
This is the type of bookahol normally consumed during schooling in the Universe of Universe. While sometimes enjoyable, and often edifying, this type of bookahol is of a lower proof, and is deemed suitable for minors.
This bookahol tries very hard to be interesting, but it rarely stirs the palate. Once a human's school years are over, they tend to cease consuming this type of bookahol. However, Humans who become Teachers are paid to force this kind of bookahol into smaller minds. Some enjoy it; some do not.
Whether this vintage is good or bad depends upon whom the book is about. If the person was uninteresting, then the bookahol is dry and burns the tongue. If the person did exciting things, this type of bookahol can explode with flavor.
This bookahol is much like the biography type, but since the subject made it, it tends to have more flavor.
Really Bad BookaholEdit
This is turned out everywhere, and only the experienced bookaholic can extract the better vintages out of this muck. It comes from several sources:
The majority of Students (a sub-class of Humans) in a School that take a Bookahol Brewing (or Writing) Class will not turn out good quality bookahol. Some of the better failures are labeled "rough drafts" and rerun through the Class again. This usually improves the Bookahol's flavor, acceptable for a grade but not for professional consumption. The unimprovable ones are usually shipped to penal moons and jails and used to torture criminals.
From broke artistic writers who continually have their bookahol rejected by the fiercely strict Publisher's Office. Sometimes this is wrongly done, but most of the time the bookahol is bad enough to be unpalatable and is therefore rejected with good reason.
This kind of bookahol has been known to cause disgorging, diarrhea, dizziness, disgust and death, as well as anxiously awful alliteration. Do not approach or sample if you can help it.